If it wasn't for crossfit and the community i've found in it, I'd be dead. I'm coming up on my 2 year sobriety date here in December. Also haven't touched a razor blade and harmed myself in that time frame too. I realized if i was going to quit cutting, I'd have to completely remove the other crutches I was using, and alcohol was one of them. it wasn't too long after that I started seeing a therapist because I knew I couldn't handle it alone. between suicidal nights and the brutal mental beatings, it just wasn't going to work. I tried natural remedy after natural remedy, vitamins and essential oils. all they did was "numb" it, but it always came back. almost like I was poking at it and making fun of it. so it would come back even angrier and violent. the guy I was talking to wasn't helping my mental well being either. I was being sabotaged and taken advantage of. lied to over and over. manipulated so many times and because I was so weak, I allowed it and I felt it was what I deserved. finally decided to start trying anti-depressants with very horrible side effects on the very first one I tried. landed in the hospital, once I was out, I was going to do it. all I had to do was be free of those chains and it would all be over with. turned my life around, everyone reached out to me and I decided to give this life one more shot. tried one more anti-depressant and it's made all the difference. I hate being on it because of the stigma surrounding them, but dammit it helps. and to me, that's all that matters. with check ups and tune ups, I've been surviving just fine. I've never been more excited to reach a day of the year in my life, I can't believe It's been 2 years. 2 long, hard years. worth every second.
I've recently decided to quit taking the medication. I've realized I don't need them as much as I did during that time frame and the withdrawals have been one hell of a struggle, but I can't wait to get through it. it's crazy how different life is right now compared to where it was when I started!! I've been doing really well without them so far, and I'm glad I gave them a go. they DID help me so much. so I definitely don't want it to seem like "people shouldn't take them". if it works for your RIGHT NOW, then you need to do what is best for you. mind, body and soul!