I was arrested for my first ever offense of a DWI. Blowing three times the legal limit. And not remembering the whole process of it. I woke up Saturday in the drunk tank confused, scared, nervous, ashamed and so many more feelings. I was lost. I got booked in. Saw a judge. Made bond. And figured out the process for the first time alone. When I got out of the correctional facility I was given my belongings. My phone left in my truck that was towed the night before. I walked outside the station as if it was the first time being outside in forever. Having no way to contact anyone I walked home. I got dressed for my nephews graduation and the world around went on like nothing happened. While it felt like my whole world was coming to an abrupt stop. I laid in bed not sleeping at all that night wondering what will happen to me. With barely any money. How would I be able to afford a lawyer? Would a court appointed one really try? Or care? I got upset. Found a few empty liquor bottles in my room probably enough for a few shots. But something hit me. I was turning to the same thing that got me here. I was angry that I gave into it before hand. I was trying to find an escape in it, or forget. And I was about to do it again. I dumped it down the toilet and flushed it. Not sure what I was feeling I laid back down and began scrolling through Instagram while I was trying to keep my mind off of what I had no control over. That's when I found the "Mental Kilter" page. While this is the beginning of my journey. I am blessed to be alive. And grateful I never physically hurt anyone. But it was an eye opener. And I saw the effect it had on all of my loved ones around me. Family, friends, girlfriend and so on. I felt I didn't deserve any of them after what I did. Yet they all showed compassion. While I'm still scared of what will happen. It opened my eyes to what a hold alcohol had on me. And how addicted I was. But before I never would have called my drinking a "problem" or "addiction," because there was always someone who was worse off. I feel I came across "Mental Kilter" at this moment in my life for a reason. And I have been following your personal Instagram (Leah Casciano) since 2014 and never looked into it. While I feel alone and scared. It's somewhat comforting to know that I'm not. I'm ready to make a change in my life for the better. And I'm ready to strive to be the best version of me I possibly could.